Motherhood

I just want to start off saying, thank you thank you THANK YOU to those who have been so supportive of my personal blog. I felt that if clients should hire me, they should know me 100%, including my family, travels, life, etc. It seems trendy to have a "personal mom blog" but I genuinely love sharing real life with anyone who's interested! With that being said, I want to share my 4 month journey as a mama bird so far...

 

Guys, it has been a CRAZY season. Good, but also a little rough. There are so many things I didn't expect going into this that I could blog about for DAYS but that would also take forever so I'll just hit the key points. I've shared in my previous posts that my pregnancy was a complete surprise!  Pre-pregnancy, I truly wanted to wait a few more years. It wasn't only my freedom I was afraid of losing, but also my identity. I didn't want to become just another stay at home mom who always posts photos of her baby doing NOTHING on social media. (Funny thing is, that's me now!) I took so much pride in being able to work from home or on the road and always being able to go out on photo shoots, blah blah blah. I would lie if I didn't say it is hard to see my babyless photog friends get all these cool trips and opportunities that I just cannot do anymore. Or even being able to go out for lunch without the stress of naps, feeding him before I go, or being that mom with a loud baby in a restaurant. (I was always a planner before baby but now? I literally have to plan out EVERY time I want to go out. It gets pretty overwhelming.) My friendships have changed, my weekends end earlier, my patience is tested with my hubby during those sleep regressions, it's wild. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. My identity is as a wife, no, PARTNER, first of all. To put photography/freedom above that is unfair to my husband, the full time worker who doesn't even know what traveling for a fun job looks like because he's committed to 8 hour days in a classroom with little kids screaming, Mr. Metz, Mr. Metz, Mr. Metz! How selfish of me to even compare that. *facepalm* And for my freedom and friendships, they've changed but also been filled with things that fit our lives during this season. I can't complain about this either because God places things in your life knowing what's best in His timing, which has been such a blessing being surrounded my new friendships with other mamas.

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Zach and I went on our first baby-less trip this past weekend and all we could talk about was Hendrix and his stinky butt. Our love for each other has changed and grown in ways I didn't think were possible and for that, I thank my stinky butt baby. He's teaching mom and dad that marriage is supposed to be constantly changing, growing, and ALWAYS bringing out the best in each other. Thank you, son.

Aside from my emotions during motherhood, there are physical ones as well! Breastfeeding, sleep regressions, food diet (because at one point, you could eat kabobs and feel fine but now, those garlicy, juicy kabobs upset your son's stomach and you have to kiss them goodbye!) and Google. YES GOOGLE. YOU STRESS ME OUT. Researching things lead to stranger's horror stories or even worse- that what you're currently doing is damaging your baby. Let them cry and self soothe, don't let them cry for too long, vaccine them, vaccinations are Satan, stick to a nap routine, let them fall asleep whenever. GUYS THIS IS THE MOST STRESSFUL PART, I KID YOU NOT. At least once a week, I'll have a meltdown because Google led me to a blog that says what I'm doing is wrong and that I need to do the opposite. Ugh. Thank goodness for my husband who just says, "So? If every baby is different and what you're doing works for Hendrix, isn't that you being a good mom?" Y'ALL. Bless him. The best advice I can give any new mama is this: Do what works for your family, ask your pediatrician the questions, NOT Google, surround yourself with other mama friends, and listen to your body (including your heart) I hope this helps any of you who freak out as much as brings some reassurance that yes, this journey is crazy, but we were MEANT for this. 

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